Conversations with the boys

Kids say the funniest things.  Sometimes it is frustrating when you can't get through to them or they just outright ignore you.  I always wondering what is going on inside of their heads and what their thought process actually looks like.

Here are a few conversations with the boys from the last few weeks.

Conversation #1

Joseph for a while was waking up very early in the morning, I am talking about like 4 am.  I am very sensitive to light when I am sleeping so any amount of light always wakes me up.  Anyway, I would wake up and the lights in our kitchen and living room would all be on, so the whole house would be illuminated.  When I would come out into the family room Joseph would be on the couch wide awake. I would have to walk him back to his room and get him to go back to sleep, which only lasted a few more hours.  So after I few nights of him waking up I had a conversation with him before he went to bed:

Me: Joseph, you know you really need to sleep all night in your bed, so you are rested in the morning.
 
Joseph:  But, I am awake and I don't want to sleep anymore in my bed.

Me:  Well, then you need to stay in your room until everyone else gets up because when you wake up in the middle of the night and turn on all the lights every where you are waking me up and you might wake up Samuel and Simone too.  They really need their sleep too.

Joseph:  If the light bothers you, then just shut your door and you won't have to worry about me getting up.

It was a smart solution and good point.  He ended up sleeping in his bed and not getting up until his normal 6 am wake up time, which is still too freaking early.

Conversation #2

You know sometimes when you are having a talk with your kids and you actually feel like you are getting through to them.  Well, I felt like a total rock star parent one night.  Joseph and I normally have talks about his school day at night when I am putting him to bed.

Me: Do you have any new friends at school?

J: No, not really.  But there is a new boy in class.  His first name starts with an O.

Me: Have you talked to O?  Is he nice?

J:  No, he cries all the time.

Me:  Maybe he cries because he is at a new school and he doesn't really know anyone.  He probably misses his mom and dad.

J: Yeah, probably.

Me:  Maybe you should talk to him and tell him that it will be alright.  You could tell him that his mom will pick him up after school and he will be okay, just like your mom picks you up from school.  Maybe he just needs a friend since he is new.  You think you could help him out a little bit?

Joseph looks at me like he is taking it all in.  The look he was giving me was like I just said the smartest thing ever and he was totally going to go up to this boy tomorrow and be so nice.

Joseph's response after sitting there for a minute taking in everything I said: Yeah, I'm not saying any of that to him.

Great.  Parent failure number who knows what.

Conversation #3

Last night the kids were playing and Joseph called someone a "stupid dumb dumb head".  I told him that we don't use that language and it is not nice to call people names.  I told him that I didn't want to hear him say that again.

Then Samuel stepped in:  Well at least he didn't say FUCK!
Me:  What the...heck, Samuel!  You never say that word.  Where in the world did you hear that?
(Usually that would be something that I would say, but I really have been watching my language a lot since kids.  This was definitely a regular vocabulary word for me pre-kids).
Samuel:  I heard it on a video.  I have kept it secret for a really long time.
Me:  That word is very inappropriate.  Go upstairs and take a little break.

He proceeded to go upstairs and told Dave what he said.  He felt absolutely terrible and was crying.  Dave talked to him about words that some adults may use which are still not right and kids should not say them either.  He apologized and felt terrible.  I was so shocked that for once I had no idea how to handle the situation.  I probably should have had a conversation with him right away but I was just dumbfounded.  I never would have thought he would have said that word.

Those are the conversations we have been having lately.  We are learning so much and apparently so are the kids.

Emotions are flowing

This has been a very emotional week.  All the kids started school.  Simone has gone to a "school" two days a week for about a year, but now she is going with the boys at the International Schoolhouse.  She is going five mornings a week, along with Joseph.  They both have been adjusting really well.  I am so proud of both of them.  I look forward to picking them up at 11:45, eating lunch together and playing until they take a nap.  It is nice quality time.

Then there is Samuel.  He just started Kindergarten.  He is going to the International Schoolhouse too.  He goes from 8:45 to 3:45.  It is a long day.  He is so happy, which makes me happy but I am so sad too.  I truly can't believe that 5 years have gone by and he is now in school full time.  I remember on my rough days at home I would think that I couldn't wait for him to go to Kindergarten and now I just miss my buddy.  Now that he isn't here, I miss those afternoons of him following me around.  "Can I help you cook? Can I help make dinner? Can we play go fish? Can we play war? Can we play checkers? Can we play video games?"  The list goes on, but as annoying as it was some days I miss him terribly.  The first day that I dropped him off, I held in tears because I didn't want him to see me cry.  Yesterday, I noticed the quietness in the afternoon.   Then today it totally hit me.  This was the first day that I had two and a half hours to myself (I had to pick up Simone early the first two days because they wanted to ease in the 2 year olds) and I just got sad.

I stopped working when I had Samuel and it has just been me and the kids.  Now one part of my parenting time has ended.  Now he spends more time at school and in activities then he does with me.  I know it will get easier, but I think it may be more of an adjustment for me then it is for him.

Now I have to figure out what my new schedule is going to be.  I need to figure out when I am going to fit in exercising, laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, organizing, writing, volunteering, etc.  It is amazing how quickly two and a half hours go.  Today I ran four errands all around town and finished in one hour.  It was amazing how quickly I got things done.  My goal for the next few weeks it to finally have time to go through the house and clean up all the clutter.  I need to organize toys and go through stacks of mail, catalogs and everything.

Right now I am just trying to go with the flow.  I have learned that I am not very good with change and this is going to take some time to get used to.